If you are being abused in any way: Emotionally, sexually or physically there IS help out there. You are not alone and there are many people who want to help, all you have to do is ask! They will strive to keep you and any children involved safe. Please take the first step!
The Domestic Violence Hotline or The Hot Line is an excellent site that even has a Red Escape Button that you can click if the abuser should happen to walk in while you are checking out the site; it takes you to a completely different non-related site. Go to www.thehotline.org or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
The National Sexual Assault Hotline or RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Netword) has more than 1,100 trained volunteers that are on duty and available to help victims at RAINN-affiliated crisis centers across the country. The caller’s number is not retained so you will remain anonymous unless you choose to reveal your identity to the volunteer. Visit www.rainn.org and call 1-800-656-4673
Please feel to leave a comment on any websites or
numbers of safe places to contact that you
feel would be beneficial!
If you are at all confused by Tessa’s willingness to believe Nicky’s lies about a woman being required to submit to her husband because it is God’s will…my friend Bob Mangus, has been kind enough to offer few words on this subject to help those who are in a ungodly relationship understand why this is NOT what God meant when He said submit.
“The Biblical reference in Ephesians that a woman is to submit to her husband, is widely misinterpreted by many men, especially in ungodly relationships. It plays into the role that they feel entitled to., just because it is biblical. That line of thinking is a control technique.
What men fail to do is look beyond that one reference, and fail to read/heed the rest of the passages that God intended relationships to be, to the latter references in Ephesians that men are to treat their wives with love, kindness, and tenderness, loving them as “Christ loved the church”. This would be easily interpreted as taking an equal role in helping around the house, and be the Christian leader of the family, as God intended.
A man cannot “cherry pick” what they want out of the Bible. The Bible is all sufficient for all of our needs, and is the handbook for healthy, happy relationships. Men who ignore their God given responsibility to be heads of the household, by cherry picking those things that they only choose to read, believe, and apply, miss those opportunities, willingly or unwillingly.
Ephesians is the guidance for men and healthy marriages. Proverbs was written with a common sense approach, and in a heatly marriage, a strong guidance for women, who should strive to be a “Proverbs Woman” in their family relationships.
This is loosely written from what I understand, believe, and counsel, and you certainly may use the above in any way that is glorifying to the Lord and to the Kingdom.”
As a man of God, Dr. Magnus will always encourage single people to enter into Godly relationships, build their relationships in His eyes and encourage the same after marriage, he continues to tell us:
“The happiest of marriages are those where the man and the woman become ‘servants to one another'”
In an ungodly relationship, there usually is found a “Master/Slave”
mentality, where Scripture is widely abused, and stops at the reference to “Wives, submit to your husbands”. But the man refuses to acknowledge latter guidance by loving their wives, as Christ loved the church.
A Godly relationship is earmarked with a couple who “both” have a “servant” attitude. One that exhorts ‘What is it that I can do for you today’ vs. ‘I want you to do this for me today’
If both in a relationship have this foundation, there is not much to keep the relationship happy and healthy. Men would love their wives as Christ loved the church, shown by respect, love, kindness, gentleness, and any other of the Fruit of the Spirit.
From my experience, if a man would put on this cloak of care, and be the Ephesians (ALL OF EPHESIANS) man of God, and Christian leader of the home, women would gladly, willingly, and voluntarily submit themselves to their husbands. Short of that, women should not submit to ungodly behavior or requests, but instead pray for their husbands, for God to intercede in the marriage.
God’s Word cannot be refuted………If you are experiencing a poor relationship, it can always be recycled, and uplifted to an experience far greater than expectations. It will take both in the relationship to be willing to be obedient to the Word, and more importantly, is consistent in that obedience. Yes, it takes work. It takes time, it takes prayer, and it takes a lot of perseverance, all the while remaining obedient to our own faith that God will see it through.
Alternately, one can take the easy route, and throw the “trash”, out, but be sure it is biblical, and not leaning to our own understanding.”
Used with permission by
Bob Mangus, CPsyD, Minister
NCCA Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor
It is understandable that you cannot force your partner to worship and walk in the faith of Christ, but I would encourage you to seek out a relationship with Christ and find help within a church family. There are people out there who will help you.