Years ago I would drive to work each morning and back home each night and I would pass by an area of town that was being developed into commercial businesses. An area that had been mostly woods was being cleared for buildings, and the only trees that remained where two tall trees that stood side-by-side at the edge of the construction. Each day I passed, I would seek them out. They intrigued me. Day after day, month after month, both trees stood there, so tall, they were the same height and neither had many leaves. They looked wise. You could tell that they had been growing for many, many years. The reason these two trees demanded my attention each day was how they leaned into one another, the tops of their branches entwined with each other as if they were holding hands.
The romantic in me imagined that these two tall trees that had grown up side-by-side for so many years and were now realizing that they could soon be parted as the home they had always known was rapidly changing from a green wooded retreat to grey concrete buildings, parking lots and light poles. They were holding onto one other for dear life. One last touch before they too were removed to make more room for a concrete jungle.
I passed these two trees for years and each day I thought maybe they had been spared of the destruction of nature that had surrounded them. Maybe, the developers had cut down all of the trees they had planned to and that these two old souls were left to continue out their lives clinging to one another.
Touching Trees is what I began calling them, Touching Trees. Could two trees be connected the way that human’s souls connect with each other? Could two trees connect with each other on a level that no human can understand? Do they depend on one another to survive? I didn’t know, but it was a comforting thought.
They touched in a way that I would imagine two people would cling to their soul mate to survive. Surviving for one another so the other wouldn’t have the fear of dying alone. Two old souls holding on to one another, desperately grasping for the other; afraid to let go, holding onto that feeling of passion and love and fearing that the moment they were it would suddenly disappear.
You know the feeling I am talking about? The feeling of the first touch of his hand to your face, his fingers caressing your cheek and his fingers making their way into your hair. The passion of when he grasps your hair in his hand and he kisses you, the moment that the anticipation of that first kiss sucks the air right out of your lungs, yet you can still breathe. You can feel your heart beating out of your chest and you are sure that if anyone were around they could hear the loud thump, thump, thump. Every part of your body suddenly wakes up and does a crazy dance you haven’t been able to do since you were a teenager. A dance that you are afraid will suddenly end and you close your eyes tightly willing the music to keep playing longer.
He pulls away just far enough that he can see your eyes and he smiles a wicked little smile, and you know in your gut that he is feeling that same crazy dance of nerves. You take in the sweet intoxicating smell of his breath and you cling to each other. You’re both clinging to one another, holding on to each other, you can’t get close enough; you can’t press into each other enough. You feel like if you could just press into one another hard enough, you could actually become one person. It makes you feel frustrated and crazy at the same time, because it has never, ever felt this right just to hold someone.
You are two touching trees afraid that if your branches stop touching, the feeling will go away, that one of you will disappear and that frightens you. Will you ever feel this feeling again? Will you continue to feel this wonderful? Is this one man the only who will make you feel this young and excited for the rest of your life? Is this person your other tree?
You question whether the passion with that person is just a physical thing or is it something greater? Is it like the passion that two trees have? Is it a soul mate thing or just a sexual thing? Is it love or just sex?
I took a job that didn’t allow me to drive the same road every day to pass my two trees. When I did drive that road, I looked for the trees. They stood there for a few years longer and I assumed that they would still be there, eventually they didn’t cross my mind as often.
One afternoon not too long ago, I was driving and a song came on the radio that reminded me of someone who I had fallen very much in love with and that question popped into my head, “Will this feeling always be here?” And then I thought of my trees. I went out of my way that day and drove the road to them. When I came to the spot where they had always faithfully stood, I saw that only one of the two remained.
She stood there alone, still leaning into where her mate once stood. My heart ached for her. Wondering how long had she stood there alone and how long would she last without him? Was she strong enough to stand there without their branches touching, giving each other strength? Would she get so lonely, that the few green leaves she had left would fall, her limbs dying one by one until she would rot away? I actually cried, feeling her loss as if it were my own and feeling a twinge of guilt for not coming sooner, as if that would have made a difference.
She stands there on the edge of the highway, looking over the parking lot of a car dealership. She stands there all alone, but I wave at her as I drive by. In the spring, her leaves will return, not as full as the other, younger trees that you can see in the distance, but I know she still has some life left in her. She still leans towards the ghost of her mate, her branches twisted in a way that if he still stood next to her, they would be entwined. Maybe she doesn’t stand alone as long as his spirit is there. One thing is for sure, her mate had to leave her, but she still survives.
The Story of Tessa Blooms follows with
Touching Trees ~ Part One of Chapter One
Continue reading about how she seems to attract all the wrong men in her search to find her “Soul Tree” Is she destined to stand alone? Will her branches fall away or will she continue to survive?
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